The Cook's Assistant
by Lewpie
Summary: A new character enters the Runescape world and chronicles their quest to fit in.


The door of the cottage finally opened, allowing me to escape the ruminations and advice of the man Roddeck, who had just emerged from the downstairs cellar with me. I had in no small part just helped the old man rid himself of a nuisance dragon, if you can call a two ton behemoth a nuisance. Unfortunately, Roddeck now felt obligated to bombard me with advice and admonitions, which made leaving a cottage a fruitless task until he was done with me.

I quietly wished that Sir Vant had stuck around for a while and entertained me with some of his war stories, but he had taken leave of us to go inform the family of his squire's untimely demise. Sir Vant had taught me a few tricks about surviving in this world, and he seemed much more knowledgeable about practical matters.

"Feel free to call upon me any advice might need!" called Roddeck as I took my leave.

"Thanks, I will remember that" I muttered as I hurried away to explore this new and unfamiliar territory.

Immediately I realized that I would need to acquire some skills and money if I was to make it in this new town, so I started off in the direction of the Lumbridge Castle in hopes of making the acquaintance of someone who could get me started. I entered the castle rather apprehensively, not knowing how a stranger might be received in a royal setting, but soon discovered that the general public was welcome to explore the premises.

My natural inclination was to gravitate towards the kitchen, hoping to sponge a free meal off one of the workers. As I approached the chef, I noticed that he was wearing a look of despair instead of the jolly good natured attitude I was hoping for. I almost turned away, but thought that if I could be of assistance he might reward me with some castle food.

"Woe is me!" he cried, "I have to prepare a special dish for the royal banquet, but my assistant quit on me and I have forgotten to get the special ingredients"!

"What is it that you require?" I asked.

"Oh good sir, I am in need of an extra large egg, the highest quality milk, and specially milled flour for my royal diners" he moaned. "I fear that I will lose my post if I prepare a common dinner meant for royalty"!

Despite my misgivings about the whole matter, I offered to step in for his assistant and do my best to acquire the items in question. It might help me learn about this strange town and its denizens if I got out and explored with a purpose. Plus, I was still hoping for a free meal.

The chef practically threw the list of ingredients at me, and gave me some vague directions as to where I might come up with the items. Having relied upon others to do his dirty work for so long, he didn't appear to know very much about common errands.

As I left the castle, I started thinking about logical places that I could find the items in question. Having no idea how to mill flour, I figured that a giant egg would be the best way to start. "Chickens" I muttered "have to find some chickens".

Being new to this town, I was hesitant to display my ignorance to the citizenry by asking around, so I began simply wandering about looking for farmland. Luck was with me that day, as I spied what appeared to be a chicken coop to the north of the castle.

Entering the chicken yard, I was a little taken aback as there appeared to be a fracas going on within. Three citizens were busily engaged in hacking at one another while terrified hens ran back and forth trying to escape the carnage. I thought "What kind of farm is this?" to myself as I dodged in amongst the combatants and tried to grab a delicious looking extra large egg from the ground.

I ignored the shouts and instructions being yelled by the other people as I managed to scoop up my prize, and then with big egg in hand streaked for the safety of the pathway. I stopped and briefly considered trying to mediate a peace, but this wasn't my town and whatever issues its residents had with chickens was best left to them.

Admittedly shaken but brimming with confidence at having found a big egg for my friend the chef, I proceeded to explore the town further in hope of finding some kind of specialty milk cow that only gave the highest quality milk. I might have been able to buy some at the store, but I was pretty much broke at this time. Where to find a cow fit for royalty?

I found a seemingly peaceful field, and just filled with milk cows too! I wandered in through the gate, and was greeted with a slaughter taking place. People chasing calves, chopping at cows…it appeared the butcher shop had moved outside. Avoiding this mess as best I could I approached a comely lass who informed me that the best milk was to be had from that cow over yonder. I turned to look, and sure enough, in between a splash of blood that used to be a juicy calf and a bush, was the best milk cow in the land. Milking the cow was easy (and delicious) so I filled up my pail, hitched up my pantaloons, and went in search of some tasty flour.

The logical place to start my search would be the mill, I decided. Where was that? I asked a passing villager, but they ignored me. They probably would have been delighted to start a fistfight, but communication by other means seemed a bit much for this neck of the woods. So I wandered and wandered and to my delight found a tidy looking mill! I went inside and found another comely lass of virtue true to converse with. After a few minutes of talk, I discovered that making flour was going to be more work than I wanted!

I grumpily trudged back outside to find a field and pick my own grain. After tugging out a sufficient amount, I had to go back in and climb a ladder to the top of the mill to find the grain hopper. The levers looked all scary and intimidating to me, but I tugged and pulled until all my grain was hopped, and I went downstairs to collect my high quality flour. I don't think the young maid was too impressed that I took her only bucket, but I was in a hurry. "Thank you!" I called. "Don't come back!" she responded.

I was flushed with confidence at my multitasking, and made straight for the castle to find my friend the chef. I was really looking forward to some "reward", hopefully in the form of a place at tonight's feast! I sprinted back, and breathlessly presented my hard earned ingredients to the chef.

"Fantastic! Thank you!" he exclaimed with joy. "You have saved my job!"

Upon inquiring about a dinner for myself, he said "No, you cannot join us for the dinner. It is for royalty only. Find your own meal!"

Resisting the urge to slay this ungrateful hypocrite, I had no choice but to storm out and make my own way in this strange new world. Shaking my fist I exclaimed "I'll become the greatest chef this town has ever seen, and I'll take your job! You just wait!"

Unperturbed, the chef continued to make his preparations. But at least now I had a goal in this town….


End file.
